"I was an hungered and ye gave me meat"

Many of us in the world have seen panhandlers, beggars, and others whom we generally describe as homeless in our day to day lives. They seem to be a ubiquitous part of big cities and come in all descriptions. I have seen homeless people in the US though more prominently here in Utah where I have called home for almost twenty five years of my life as well as in Russia which was my adopted home for almost two years. One common thread wove through those who genuinely needed help and that was that they had fallen so far as to have little to no control over their lives  and lived from day to day, minute to minute, being buffeted back and forth by the winds and waves that make up the storm of their lives. Some even die under those colossal storm ravaged skies.
Here in the US, I would say about half of the homeless were under the ravages of substance abuse and I categorize, alcohol, tobacco and drugs all as substance abuse. If money given in handouts and assistance is converted to these substances instead of food, clothing or shelter, then these are the ones I speak of. In Russia drugs were very uncommon. There tobacco was cheap and alcohol, usually vodka or beer was a staple of purchases among the homeless and usually if you saw someone homeless, they were drunk as well, particularly in the winter. It was sad when someone would be drunk in winter to stave off the cold and they would pass out, only to be buried in the heavy snow, not to be seen again until spring. Horrifying, yes. it was however, the reality there and for many it was a slippery slope to that condition.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the LDS Church or the Mormon church generally discourages its members from giving handouts to those who are panhandling or begging as it promotes that kind of activity and does nothing to help those who suffer from chronic homelessness from improving their lives and becoming a true functional member of society. I see the panhandlers in many places, most recently along freeways and parking lot exits. On occasion I would see someone truly homeless and my heart wishes to reach out to them and help them help themselves. An occurrence like that happened tonight though, to my wife's credit, she spotted him and moved first.
We had gone to an inexpensive local diner, Village Inn by name.Great tasting simple fare with a marketing centered on their pies. We wanted to eat out tonight and though we had eaten out more lately, probably more than we should, it was her desire and I wasn't going to object.
We had worked our way through most of our meal and were only a few minutes from leaving when a heavily coated man came in with a long gray beard and dark hair came shuffling in. He reeked of tobacco and had dark skin though with Caucasian features. He was so dirty and unkempt he could have been Hispanic, White, American Indian or any mixture by race and looked between 35 and 65 years old. Honestly, I could believe any of those ages or races. His voice was very familiar to me though until now I couldn't place it. I knew the man was not the gentle elderly man he sounded like but he had a gentle calming effect, almost like a friend just wanting a bit of help.
Initially we just watched him and the waitress asked him what he would like. He asked for coffee and she went to get it for him. As she was in the kitchen, he began picking up bits of food off of the floor, under and around tables and really anywhere he could spot. This really caught my wife's attention and I really couldn't see him as she was facing where he was working and I was not. She started describing in a hushed tone what he was doing and we were trying to decide if he was scrounging for crumbs to wash down with the coffee or whether he was doing a simple "chore" in exchange for food. He seemed quite thorough and I could believe either. As she came out, though, he asked the price of the coffee and she replied $2.19 which seemed exorbitant, except they serve coffee by the pot. He asked for a to-go cup of coffee instead and she said OK but it would still be the same price. Not knowing the price, it seemed clear, he was not working there for a handout and though she was courteous, she was probably restricted in what she could do so as to not encourage a flood of people into the restaurant if word got out.
This pretty well decided the matter for my sweet wife. She whispered, half asking, half-telling me she wanted to get him something, like a sandwich. She stood up looking to me for assent, which I promptly gave. She seemed clearly moved and under the direction of the spirit. He seemed to be giving up as the coffee was more than he had, so he was headed for the door. She stopped him and offered to buy him a sandwich. he shuffled back, sounding quite confused. I had taken over on feeding our baby which she had been doing prior to this. She took the menu from the waitress and opened it before him. She basically opened the whole menu to this choosing which had me initially concerned. if he was faking his slow-wittedness, which seemed genuine, he could easily take advantage of the situation and either order a lot or order expensive. However, either due to being slow or the lack of the ability to read, she just prompted a few items to him including breakfast platters, sandwiches and hamburgers. he perked a bit at hamburger and s asked for that. She looked over the selection and suggested a cheeseburger. He agreed and so she ordered a double cheeseburger with fries for him. He sat down and waited a bit for his meal. My dear wife, then ordered a pie for us to take home to the kids and then went to wash her hands. He was that dirty! Coming back a few minutes later we waited a bit for me to finish my meal and then stood to pay and leave.
As we approached the counter to pay, the waitress came out with his meal and he said, "What kind of hamburger is that?" He didn't sound angry, but stunned. She said it was a double cheeseburger and he replied again, "How come it was so BIG?" She replied that they came that big. he then commented on the downhill slide of his surprise that he would not be able to finish the fries. My sweetheart smiled overhearing that and the waitress telling him he could take the rest that he didn't eat to a friend or to eat later. We both chuckled lightly at that and finished paying for our meal.
As we pulled through the parking lot, we passed the window where he was eating. Granted a hamburger is not the most nutritious of meals but it was one which would fill him up and hopefully put a glint of light in his eye. He was eating well and seemed generally astonished about the portion given him. It was as we were passing him that my companion mentioned a part I had missed. She had heard him ask where the garbage cans were and the waitress' reply that they had a dumpster in the back. Initially I think we had thought that he was asking where to put the bits of food he picked up but after our experience we both decided he was looking for more food than the meager handful of crumbs! we decided he had intended to go and root around in the dumpster like a dog! That was the icing on the cake for my sweetheart in that we gave him a respectable meal to eat as a person and not a dog. He was, in her eyes, in our eyes a son of God, made in the image of the Father and though deeply tormented by his life's condition, for one night, could eat well and move on to a tomorrow, a little less hungry.
We have been commanded to be far less judgmental than our natural inclination would have us be and be much more compassionate. I felt, as I am sure my wife did, the bowels of mercy of the Lord yearning to help this man. My wife, answered his call given through the promptings of the spirit, to give that compassion to him. It brings to mind Matthew chapter 25 verses 35-40 which in part read, "I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat, i was thirsty and ye gave me drink... Then shall the King answer and say, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Despite this experience, I likely won't be a nickel's more generous to panhandlers or beggars waiting for a handout. However, it has given me opportunity to better recognize the promptings of the spirit when he really does want me to reach farther and dig deeper to help someone, even if it is for simply a bit of meat. 

Disney's "Frozen" and Love

I have seen a number of e-mails and articles talking about the relationship between Elsa and Anna, the princesses in Disney's latest princess movie, "Frozen". Their relationship as well as the relationship between Sven and Christoph as well as Prince Hans' lack of genuine interest in either princess is seen by some as a drastic departure from the classic boy meets girl portrayal of true love. Others call it a direct assault on it and open support for a homosexual agenda. I don't know who those people areas I have never met them. I also know nothing about Disney's motives or business or social strategies. With that in mind I would call this a perspective from one who between the parties has no agenda in either camp and so, all things being equal, I want to express what I felt in watching the movie.
First I want to talk about each of the characters in isolation:

Anna, the younger of the princesses is a sister who as a child, loves her sister who is not only a playmate but one who she looks up to as a source of good. She gravitates to Elsa and even after her memory of Elsa's magical abilities is wiped from her memory, her love remains. She is confused by her isolation from the family and being very young gives her sister the benefit of the doubt. They are both well loved as they grow though they don't cross paths. Bitterness is not part of their existence and so the love persists in hopes of a day where they can be rejoined. She is otherwise a normal, somewhat scatterbrained young woman.
Elsa, is much like her sister except being older feels a sense of responsibility for Anna in not only keeping her happy but protecting her from injury. It is a good motive and when they play at night using her powers, her reticence isn't out of blatant disregard for what she is sure her parents would not approve, but she is torn between the rules, protecting her sister, and sharing what she saw as a loving use of her powers -- making her sister happy. She injures Anna and though the damage is minimal, she decides protecting her sister and family is more important to her so she sacrifices their relationship for the sake of that protection. She grows up alone, more isolated than anyone in that entire castle. As sad as I was to see Anna grow up, shut out by her sister, tome it was even sadder to see Elsa virtually imprisoned by her own powers, locked away and shut away so that everyone else's life can be normal. it is truly heartbreaking indeed.
Christoph and Sven. At points it seems these two share a brain. They are truly a fun pair to watch while many masculine stereotypes are stretched to the breaking point we can't forget that this is a fictional story and as fiction, some won't be realistic. Being a working man, he like a lot of young men in reality, was focused on his work and "paying off the car" per se. It never said what happened to his family that we see him with in the beginning of the film, nor does it say whether or not he had any ongoing relationships with any relatives or friends. He does not seem to be acquainted with any of the people we see in the film other than the rock trolls so it is likely he himself is from elsewhere and like a lot of merchants is here in the kingdom on business. It being business, his focus is not and has not been on love or romance at all. As far as Sven, he is a metaphor for a best pal. I really just saw a big, loving, slobbery dog cast in a different role. That is called creativity.
Prince Hans is the most complex construct in the whole film. Honestly until his treachery became apparent, I could not see where his character was going. It was obvious to me early on that Anna and Christoph were going to be together by the end but Hans was an enigma. We get an inkling when he mentions he is the last of thirteen brothers. Like the youngest in any crowd he always gets the scraps and though he covers the resentment well, he seems to have just determined to get what he wants elsewhere. That is not a bad motivation, he just went about it wrong. As a prince, he was still eligible to be a king somewhere in the European tradition. By this point he seemed to go to the kingdom determined to do anything to gain the kingdom. In his own way he had become an Ebenezer Scrooge, not loving anyone really. He wanted money, power, and a kingdom of his own. If he was willing to put a face on to enchant the heart of a princess, so let it be. Therein lies his corruption. Still a man, and still one who would do good. Just all for the wrong reasons.
The dynamics of the relationships between the characters changes but the cores of each of their lives remain the same. Queen Elsa, now, is more imprisoned in her own heart than ever. Not incapable of love, but just too afraid to let anyone get close because, if too close they could be hurt. She is still sacrificing her life for the sake of others. Anna and Prince Hans do have compatible personalities as they do connect, however falsely on Hans' part. That cannot be easily faked. They do connect but his heart is after something else. Christoph and Sven are a boy and his dog as explained before. Christoph and Anna initially don't connect but later on as their challenges and difficulties draw them together, they do begin to connect. His need for companionship is filled by her awkward way of relating to people. Her need to find someone who clicks with her is filled by an unexpected source. Not exactly a knight in shining armor, he does still come to save her with what little he has. it proves to be enough.
Ultimately the relationship under attack by others is Anna and Elsa's. A story that does not end in a wedding cannot be a natural one and is therefore suspect in the minds of many. Those who attack such a story don't realize what they are seeing. They are not seeing the story of how Anna and Christoph fall in love and get married. The ingredients for such a story appear late in this one but are not realized in this one. That does not mean they won't either. In fact just before the final scene, Anna presents Christoph with a sled and a kiss does happen. A kiss of true love. Not over an altar, but the beginning of love, not the climax of it. It promises the possibility of the future for them.
Elsa, is in mortal danger from Prince Hans, something Anna does not realize until the storm subsides and Anna sees she has a choice to make. Run and embrace Christoph for whom she is final realizing her love, or use her last remaining strength to save her sister's life. A hug or the ultimate sacrifice. I think she chose well. in the bible it says that greater love hath no one, but that he layeth down his life for his friends. (paraphrased) She loved her sister, and she could not bear to see her sister killed. She had wanted to save her sister from her imprisonment since she was a child and she had only recently learned what Elsa was a prisoner of. She would rather have her sister than a normal life and now she would rather give her life for her sister. That is pure love and there is nothing homosexual about it.
Anna, and Hans have a budding romance in the end. Prince Hans is heading home for the biggest brother-given time out he'll ever get. Sven is Sven, the slobbering dog, Olaf, who has been the comic relief and an outgrowth of Anna and Elsa in one package. He is the understanding for each other that the sisters lacked in themselves. Elsa has finally discovered what true control of her powers mean and how she can balance the cold with the warm. She hasn't had time to fall in love with anyone yet. She and Anna have some healing to do after so many years apart. Let time do the healing and let love take its course for Anna and Christoph as well as Elsa.

 

A Sense of Accomplishment in Work

Work has an appeal to some people. Yes, people, not Martians. Work that is good, honest, productive labor moves a need forward, accomplishes tasks rolls back the entropy that is our lives. Many see it as something to avoid, but there are some who, despite modern stereotypes, work hard and work smart for the sake of making their lives, and the lives of those around them better. 

There are many jobs that fit in this category and all are honorable in their own right. I appreciate the job well done of ditch diggers, school teachers, policemen, iron workers, scientists, restaurant workers and so many more. Because of the work they do, my life is a little easier. I am just as grateful to the doctor who gives me my checkup as I am to the restaurant server who brings me a well cooked meal.

Why do so many of us sneer at work? Why do so many of us dread the "Monday Morning Melee?" Why do so many of us, no matter what we do find the "honest day's work" as a necessary evil?

Growing up, I had a father who for the lion’s share of his career worked in heavy industry from steel/iron foundries to fabrication shops usually as a welder or fitter. He has work that we see in railroad cars, bridge girders, even in a few structural components in buildings. I remember him coming home as filthy as a coal miner, even to the point where we got him his own washing machine so as to reduce the risk to our own regular clothes. He would walk in the door haggard and exhausted, drop off his gear, and head straight for the shower. As he worked swing shift for much of the time in my memory, he would often be heading straight for bed. The following morning, we would be up and gone to school before he was up and he would be gone. He had been in college in the early 1970's but had to quit to support his budding family. Never having gone back, his jobs hardly ever rose beyond basic subsistence living. Now retired, his physical strength needed for such work has left him and he has become his father, the older man, still able, but a tired, worn out piece of leather  that had seen too many years in an industry he didn't care for but felt he could not escape. 

There are many stories like the one of my father and many more with more difficult end stories. I often hear about people who work two full time jobs and that is just to make ends meet. There is no time to be a father, mother, neighbor, friend, husband, or wife. Work has become the necessary evil in our lives as I had described. So where is this sense of accomplishment? 

First, and I say this knowing this means an enormous change for many people, you need to do something you love to do. This is a hard sell to a lot of people because many instantly think of their favorite NBA star or Actor. Others even think of the Great American Novel they want to write. I classify all of these in the list of worthy professions above but well beyond the reach of a lot of us. This is not to say they are impossible but more about a generality that does not actually answer the thing we love. For example, just because we can't make basketball our profession, doesn't mean we can't schedule some time to shoot some hoops. Just because we can't drop everything and become the next Tom Cruise doesn't mean a foray into community theatre is impossible. And the great American Novel should never be solely about getting something published. It should be about expressing ones imagination in writing and putting it out for the precious few who surround us every day to enjoy. In this age of the internet, we can share all kinds of talents with the world and much of that sharing is through free channels. This blog is one. When we can enjoy these things we feel a sense of accomplishment and life is a little more enjoyable. 

Second, We often look at the work we have to do in life and it seems daunting. When we feel like we are "Under the Mountain" we struggle to find enjoyment in what we do, even if it is something we like. There is an old saying for this. "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." 

We look at our jobs and if we look close enough most big jobs are really a collection of smaller, easier tasks. When viewed as a whole it is overwhelming at times. But when broken down into its constituent parts, it becomes more manageable and we begin to eat the elephant. 

For example, with housework, particularly our living room, it doesn't take long before it looks like it has been turned over by burglars. The couch becomes a clothes horse, the piano a book rack, and the floor seems to be the best place in my kids minds for their backpacks and jackets. Many of these things can be taken care of by recalling the offenders to the room to rectify the situation but honestly, much of the mess is just everyday use, not really negligence. Instead of looking at the whole room, start with a piece of furniture, I like the piano as it is a good starting place that I can remember. Start a stopwatch as you begin. You'll see why later. Clean it up, dust it, etc. Get the first piece done. Most should take just seconds to minutes. Now move to the next piece of furniture. Do the same, and the next, and the next. Then divide up the room in logical sections and pick up the items on the floor. Be sure to check the little hiding places, under cushions, behind armchairs etc. Before you know it the room is already looking pretty good. Now gravity works still so next you will want to dust or wipe things down that, as items and dirt go astray, they hit the floor. Clean from high to low. Saves time. Last sweep and mop or vacuum as appropriate. Here is the kicker. Check the stopwatch. Chances are, you will be surprised at what you see there. Feel that good feeling. That is accomplishment. 

At regular intervals, for me it is usually Saturday, go a little deeper and move the couches, vacuum the cushions, clean the couch covers, throws, pillows etc. vacuum blinds and wash windows. It will take a little longer but it takes care of details. 

Now, this same method can apply to many tasks. Break it down. Time yourself. Plow into it, piece by piece, step by step. 

Last, One problem everyone has when we look at our day and the finite resources we have, particularly time, is we work to get work done and then once the boss is gone, we slide into our own agenda. Solitaire comes up on the computer or Facebook comes up. Taking time for one self is not bad. The problem is that sometimes we look up and realize three hours had gone by and we are still on the same level of our game! We have accomplished nothing. We meant to take just a short break to let our brain rest, or at least shift gears but then time gets away from us. Lack of planning is the cause in the beginning but eventually it becomes an avoidance tactic. It moves from an innocent break to a selfish indulgence. All of us are guilty of it. For one it is movies, for another it is games. A break is good, but a daily vacation is not. So what do we do?

Return the break to a break by description. Start out the day working and doing. Then at a set time, deliberately stop and take a break. get up and stretch and walk around a bit. Play ONE round of your addictive game. Then, back to work. Be sure the breaks are at scheduled times or good stopping points in the work. After the break, get right back into work and keep going. At the next break do something different. For instance, if you played a game on your phone for part of it, this time send an encouraging test to a special friend or a post on Facebook. Just one. 

At the end of every break, review what you have done. Write down a list of the things you get done. As you go through our day, you will be amazed how much you can actually get done. Look at the list at the end. Feel that feeling? That is accomplishment again. feels good, doesn't it? 

As time goes on, change up what you do and how you do it. If you have certain tasks you always do, trade up with some one. it keeps things interesting, especially watching someone else learn your task. Where appropriate, race someone on a task. it adds an element of competition to the task. Keep it friendly. 

Work was never meant to be a drudgery. It was meant to be a tool to teach us skills, get things done and taken care of and most importantly be an outward expression of who we are and what we wish to add to this life. Some may even say it is one way of saying to those we surround ourselves with, that we love them and wish to make their lives easier, more pleasant, and more enjoyable. That is a great accomplishment.

 

Kids and grades

My kids have had a love hate relationship with homework for a long time. They love to hate it. Honestly so did I but I understood it to be a necessary evil that comes with school. Like anything you want or need to be good at, practice is necessary and schoolwork is no exception. Homework is intended to be a minimum workload for practice and for those who need extra help, extra practice is always good.  However, a couple of my kids have taken the "let's ignore the problem and maybe it will go away" approach. Well tonight it has come back to bite them in the butt.

A couple of weeks ago we had "Parent-Teacher" conferences as they were called when I was a kid. now they are called SEP's or Student Educator Planning meetings which to me is a bit of an irony. The one clear thing that comes out of these meetings is the lack of a plan. I left the "SEP's" on a chocolate-fueled (PTA fundraiser) mini rant with a couple of them and instructions to them to get their missing assignments turned in. Yes the missing assignments monster reared its ugly head. I gave instructions and received a grudging commitment from each of them that the missing assignments would be cleared up and I left it at that. I have followed up with my kids a few times since then and got less intelligible answers than most politicians would give. Talk about non-committal! If only they had a class in that. My kids would be acing that one!
Grandma even pitched in to help the one that was struggling the most by offering a gift card with a modest sum as an encouragement to get the assignments turned in. I had high hopes and backed off of them to see what would happen.
Well I got as much of a reaction as I did trying to get Water and oil to blend. NOTHING! I finally was able to access the district grade book site tonight and the results were basically that nothing had been turned in. In fact looking closer at the details I saw that much that was turned in had poor grades as well as some tests. So I guess the mini-rant and then backing off the pressure didn't really do the trick. I grounded three of them to their rooms where they will stay in friendless, TV-less, computerless, phonesless, lifeless stupor until the site and/or teacher tells me otherwise.
Y'Know, there are times I really hate school!

 

Doing a Betterest Job

Lately the last scripture in the Sermon on the Mount has been going through my mind, roughly paraphrased is this: Be ye therefore perfect, even as my Father in Heaven is perfect.
I am NOT perfect. I make mistakes all the time. I offend people, I misunderstand. I make bad choices. it is not for lack of trying, it isn't even due just to my imperfect nature. Life is hard and at times, we are often deceived into making the wrong choices. The hardest thing to overcome for me is apathy. Apathy is a killer, both physically and spiritually. I have heard it said by many people in my life that the shortest road to hell is for good men to do nothing. Doing nothing is exactly what Satan would have us do to seal us his. There are other contexts for this phrase but it can also stand alone and be applicable for my purposes here.
God is constantly in motion, doing, and blessing as He sees fit but also as we ask Him. His actions are active and well planned to bring us closer to Him. it is one of the greatest ironies that to fail due to apathy takes effort. Effort to avoid doing good things. Effort to avoid those who would bless our lives. However, it is His spirit that seeks us out as a shepherd after his lost sheep beckoning us to return to Him.
I have been one of those lost sheep many times. Nothing serious mind you but there are times where I have drifted a little ways away and he tries to pull me back. With great effort and fortitude I have returned often. I try to do well and serve others in my life and am moreso focused on it now than I have ever been. Time is a limiting factor as is my physical capacity so I have to often make hard decisions. Elder Dallin Oaks talk on "Good, Better, Best" applies here. My life is always swamped in good things I could choose to do, well more than I could accomplish in my typical day. Better things are a step up but often many of those are impractical. The best things are the realm of the gods and prophets. I know there are many great things I can do but I don't know if I can ever make it to the best things.
The Lord's commandment still applies here, "Be ye therefore perfect..."So I have coined a new word to describe the harmony in both of these. Betterest. To do ones betterest means to do the best we can even if it was not perfect and not give in to the easier ways that are merely good. It does also acknowledge that we could rarely if ever "be perfect" at this stage. It means do all you can and if we fall a little short, it does not mean we failed. It just means we still have room to grow. Betterest blends the ideas of doing ones best job and being content with what was achieved. It is balanced by a healthy appreciation for failure and how to try again. it is a better task waiting to bloom forward as a perfect job. So to each of you I commend you to do the betterest job you can.

Understanding

I have read many talks and scriptures about faith and how it is a key concept in comprehending the things of God. I read the commandments, I read parables, I read accounts of perilous situations that the people of God have found themselves in and though they are included to teach certain principles, often what I get out of them is different from how others understand. Some may not get the point at all. This is often why so many people struggle with the scriptures.
Understanding a concept is often the most important part of learning. I may believe in the gospel. I may even believe that what I am reading is right. Unless I understand it though I don't often benefit from the full lesson it is trying to teach.
This is a problem that has frustrated me, especially as I read things like Job or Isaiah in the Bible. I have often heard it said that Joseph Smith taught that Revelation is one of the plainest books of scripture and it is far more literal than man usually believes it to be. I read many of these passages and the ones I don't understand are the ones that frustrate me the most. I feel as though Heavenly father wants me to understand but has tied it up in linguistic knots to get me to work harder to understand.
My other worry in understanding is whether the passages I feel that I understand have really been revealed for all that they are intended to teach. I read a passage, I feel I understand the concept, but did I really get all of the meaning out if the verse?
Understanding as concept can be quite complex, but as I have grown older and learned more about learning, I feel I have it simplified enough to apply what I have learned in a beneficial way.
Doctrine and Covenants section 9 verses 8-9 which were written to Oliver Cowdrey state:
"But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong..."
This is the first step of understanding. As I read the scriptures or study the gospel, I have tried to follow this counsel. However, I have also learned that it works for every principle I want to learn. Math, Physics, cooking, automotive work, anything will be magnified by this.
focus on one principle or concept. Look in footnotes, end notes. Read other works and sources about it. Come to a basic understanding of the concept. Mull it over in your mind and think of various ways where it might apply. Think of ways where it directly applies to you. All of this is that preliminary work that must happen before going to the next step.
The Lord wants us to learn. He wants us to learn about everything good. He says through his prophet in Doctrine and Covenants again in section 109:7 "Seek ye out of the best books, words of wisdom." I believe those best books are books written about anything good and not just gospel topics. Seek counsel from experts in the topic you want to learn about where some good sources may be. Follow their counsel and seek out knowledge. Learn grow. Once we have done this, we can apply the test given and pray about what we have learned. Heavenly Father will then guide us to more knowledge on the subject and help extend our learning further. He may also inspire us directly through personal revelation which is the purest way of gaining understanding. Trust the inspiration given and put the understanding into practice.
Understanding is beyond just faith. it is beyond knowledge. Understanding is the ability to see the concepts we learn about and to be able to describe it in such a way that we show a genuine love of the learning we have gained. While we are limited to "man's language" some concepts are harder to understand. The spirit can communicate pure understanding  to our hearts and we can then gain more than we ever could by just asking.

Feeling Good

Many who know me better than just an acquaintance basis know I am a person who wears their heart on their sleeve. Though that makes me vulnerable in some situations, it is also honest. I am someone who can tell a lot by a person's face and particularly the eyes. It hurts sometimes when I can see someone smiling but when I look in their eyes I can see they are close to tears. They hide it but they cannot hide it from me very often and they can never hide it from the Spirit. I guess one reason why I don't usually try to hide my feelings is because I can't hide them from myself. I know how I feel and I don't try to hide it from me.
Most people want to feel good in life. They eat certain foods, drink certain drinks, exercise or do something physical all in an effort to feel good. Some drown their sorrows in alcohol if not to feel good, but to numb themselves from the bad they feel. Some even go so far to sink into the oblivion of addictive drugs to lose all awareness of life. For them, life is so bad they just want to not exist for a little while.
The myth that people have bought into is that feeling good is a physical thing. The remedies they try are physical. They forget that changes in life do not begin in the physical realm but in a spiritual one. Everything worth doing is worth doing right. It requires planning and study to execute correctly. The more important the thing to be done the more careful the planning should be.
Happiness is the chief thing that Heavenly Father wants for all of us. Whether we are good or bad, He wants us to be happy, truly happy. A person who is happy and feels good, makes good choices. They selflessly give to others and work hard on behalf of their families and their families needs. Being happy and feeling good is important and so, as I have stated above, it requires planning on a spiritual level.
first, invite the spirit to be part of your plan. He can be a partner in what you do and guide your choices to do genuinely good things. Choosing good music to listen to and good places to be and good people to be with all implies goodness.
I do not claim to be an expert at this. I have just noticed that the more I try to invite the Spirit into my life and work to maintain an atmosphere around me that encourages his continued presence the better I feel and the more inclined I am to choose good things. I speak more softly and I can radiate a true feeling of happiness, one that when worn on my sleeve, as I am apt to do, is a beautiful feeling to behold.

Line upon line; steadfast and immovable

One of my favorite speakers is David A. Bednar, an Apostle and member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He speaks with the knowledge of an educator and the certainty of a businessman who has seen much of the turmoil in our time and has on many occasions, been able to counsel those whom he has stewardship, "Peace, be still." Some may call that naivete but they know little of what he knows and have seen little of what he has seen.
Lately there has been much conversation about the fate of Brandon Davies, a basketball player for the Brigham Young University Cougars basketball team. He was suspended from the team for violating the Honor Code. As I was a student of the same University as well as its counterpart in Idaho, which, at the time was Ricks College. The Honor Code is a code of ethics, which may professionals in the world are unfamiliar with. Sure many have various codes they are bound to, but many violate them daily and repercussions for said violations go unexecuted. Even some famous figures have derided the college for their strictness and even going so far as to say there are racist elements involved as Brandon is one of only two black members of the team.

Now Elder Bednar does not tie these two subjects together, I do. I only mention Brandon's situation as an example of what I wish to write about. Many people see rules and laws as well as commandments when speaking of the spiritual aspects, as being something open to interpretation and that so long as you are obeying your professed interpretation of those rules, you are doing no wrong. Many see Brandon's offense as being minor. Whereas the Law of Chastity whose elements reach as far as the Ten Commandments is far from a minor rule. Brandon knew this and he knew that violation of such a commandment, would result in disciplinary action.

Other rules are also included here. The laws of tithing, sacrifice, Word of Wisdom, and so forth. All affect every facet of our lives yet others, even some in the church deride others for seemingly unambiguous stances on why they follow the law as they do. Caffeine among the elements of the Word of Wisdom that is constantly being debated. Why do they adhere to such strict interpretations of the law. The attitude is "Live a little" It seems ironic that hose who claim violation of these rules constitute "living" when so many of them who follow their appetites for violation of these rules to their extremes often die prematurely. Word of Wisdom in this is obvious. Drinking = Car wreck or cirrhosis Smoking = Lung Cancer, overindulgence = obesity, diabetes, etc.

Disobedience to the Law of chastity may result in STD transmission which often lead to premature deaths if not a significant decrease in the quality of life. Laws of tithing and sacrifice are not so obvious to the world but what should be fairly agreeable is a healthy disposition to give to those who are in greater need and to do it in a way that much good can come from it collectively -- such is a noble thing.

Perhaps a different way to explain it is to relate the often told story of an employer who wished to hire a driver to drive freight over a mountain pass as part of the journey that was to be taken often. In the interview he asked each candidate, "How close can you come to the edge without sliding off?" Each man supposing to best those who preceded him spoke of varying distances even so much as having a portion of the tire hanging over the edge of the road, save one. This man replied that he didn't know but he assured the employer that he would keep the truck as far away from the edge of the precipice as he could. Can you guess who got the job?

The Lord would have us work the same way. Avoid the very appearance of Evil is often a way of describing this. If you have a weakness toward a specific indulgence, stay away from it. If you overeat, stay out of the kitchen, if you overindulge in alcohol, stay out of the bars, liquor stores, and the beer aisle. If you have an addiction to cigarettes, stay away from smokers. If you have a weakness toward elements of the Law of Chastity in any of its forms, stay away from temptations. For this one I would concede that in this day an age it is nearly impossible to go anywhere where elements of sex and sensuality are not plastered everywhere. It is also not possible when those things do flash up for the briefest of moments, that one can keep weird thoughts from popping into their heads. Having those thoughts is not a bad thing. Keeping them, dwelling on them, allowing them to take center stage in our mind's eye is the sin. Avert your eyes, leave, go somewhere else, do something else, whatever you need to do avoid it and stay away form it. For some it may be difficult or embarrassing. To them I say, be embarrassed. Let it be difficult. You will be blessed in the long run.

To many they have been or are already in the trap of some entanglement. I empathize with your plight, but here is where the second element comes in. Line upon line. there is not one person who lives or lived in this world, no will there be, who has drawn close tot he Lord "unto the perfect day" overnight. Each drew closer to the Lord and farther from the influences of the Devil and sin, bit by bit and drop by drop. This is true of slow steady progression within the light. It is also true of moving farther and farther out of the darkness. To conquer an addiction, or predisposition to a temptation, to gain strength in an area where one is weak, it takes a second, by second, minute by minute, hour, by hour, and day by day effort to pull away from the snare. Many just think they were born with those elements of their persona and so they should just embrace them. The law is the law and none are exempt from them. The Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance and there is no exception. Those challenges are meant to be part of that persons challenge in life and for them to just embrace failing in that challenge and just "live a little" is counsel towards destruction in the long run.

Much have I said about my own struggles and I will not elaborate on them here. They are mine and I will share my experiences with them as I choose. Brando Davies should do the same. It is between him and the Lord now and whatever happens with the other elements of his life are up to him. Those who are closest to him can reach their hands out in support but whose hand Brandon chooses to hold at any given time is up to him. To those of us who don't know him, prayer can go a long way to helping his spirit conquer his trials and at the very least a "Hi, Brandon" or a good firm handshake will do wonders. As for myself, who has not and will likely never meet him, I send my encouragement and my hopes that he will, one day return to his previous station, play for the Cougars and go on to become one of the wiser ones among us. There is nothing to stop him.

Music

I have always been attracted to musical people. My wife is one who sings very well and also plays the piano, better than I do though I think she doubts her own abilities. I have had numerous friends that have also been musically inclined and a few who are particularly gifted. One in particular, the former Amy Dalton, writes for the online publication Polite Society Magazine. I have read her articles and it is clear her feelings on music transcend the mere senses and limitations of the corporeal being. I agree with her, it reaches to the very soul in ways that few other influences can. It is no wonder that music is so often a major part in setting moods in films, plays, and in other artistic expressions.

Many use faster paced, rhythmically rapid music to get up, get energized and move through their day.  Others when energized, even with a negative energy, prefer a more calming pace which soothes feelings and allows their body movements to slow down and calm themselves. The heart even mimics the movement as much as the body does. I have so wanted to listen to more music all of the time and not at the behest of others but voluntarily on my own. I like to close up in my own world and can do so easily, even in a crowd of other people. However, with music I can almost turn off the existence of almost all else. At times it takes a firm poke or vigorous shake to bring me back to reality. Many think I was ignoring them. I just tell them that I wasn't really there.

Both sides of the eternal struggle for the souls of man have capitalized on the effect that music has upon the spirits of men. It takes a strong will to withstand the effects of music and stronger still to counter those effects with an opposing one when the effects are less than desirable. Some, in their places of work, are subjected to music that is less than preferable but their assignments make leaving the poor environment impossible. Asking for such music to be changed is often met with not only resistance but snide derision for such prudish preferences in music. As much uplifting music is religious in nature, it is often banned because of the religious element, even when no element of "establishment of religion" is at risk. Truly good is very much considered evil and evil good today.

I think of myself and how my moods evolve through the day. Music often affects those moods and can bring them back to a level and normal range when overemotional. My mind drifts to the statement to Cain in the Bible about a fallen countenance. For a long time, I did not really understand the full meaning of the word, "countenance" As I have grown older and have experienced wide ranges of emotion I have come to know the greater meaning of the term. One's countenance is that intangible expression of their being that their face, even their entire body radiates. When one is happy serene calm and full of love for ones neighbor, an energetic glow seems to emanate from their countenance. They attract those of like condition and among their friends, they are contemporaries. Diametrically, one who is arrogant, self-centered, argumentative, naive as to why no one else seems to agree with them has a shrunken, powerless countenance. It amazes the eye of the beholder, that such a being can even generate enough energy to keep their own lives together much less influence mankind for the good of all. It is about these people that the Bible also says "the love of men shall wax cold" it is in the countenance that this is most visibly pronounced.

Music has a profound affect on the countenance. When one has listened to rap music, you can feel the anger, hatred and vitriol that has emanated from the music through to the soul of the listener. As a result, there now exists a generation beyond the demographics of race that spend much of their time angry, with no real direct cause. That angry emotion has swept through their being and have left them with an anxious feeling of discontent and disenfranchisement tot he point where they feel wronged when perhaps even the themes and storyline of the music may be entirely fictitious.

Gladly though, their is a peaceful calmness in music that can be capitalized on, even utilized to tune one's spirit to the natural vibrations from the light of Christ, tuning one's soul to the whisperings of the Spirit often so clearly, that it becomes easy and familiar to hear and follow the promptings of such a voice. Unfortunately, the rude shock of reality can blur that influence and taint the calmness, that those periods are frighteningly rare. To one who continues to listen for it though, and strives to maintain the connection, it will always remain, even in the darkest of abysses.

Books I want to read

I like reading. My problem is that I never have time. My preference has therefore been audiobooks. I am a multi-tasker by nature and as a lot of the things I do are mundane, I have brain power left over to listen to books as I go. Here are a few:
The Hound of the Baskervilles  This is one book that I am sure I could listen to over and over. One audiobook version I have listened to is rather dry in its reading but I am still able to capture the story and it draws my interest. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
Sorcerers and Seers I got this for myself at Deseret Book but have been too busy to get very far into it. I have been a fan of the Tennis Shoes series since the first book came out in the 1980's and it has been one of my inspirations for my own writing.
The Secret Garden A friend of mine writes for another blog (http://www.politesocietymagazine.blogspot.com) that put me onto this one. It is an old classic and looks to me to be one that I might enjoy reading. It is one that I liked the movie for and that often leads me to the books. As it is the case most of the time, the book is bound to be better than the movie.
Treasure Island I have owned this book for years but never read it. I would definitely like to try to find a good audiobook reading of it.

Things I am grateful for in the new year...

I sometimes get really down -- especially when I am feeling the weight of the responsibilities I have. However, Fraulein Maria was not wrong when she thinks of her favorite things (Sound of Music- Stay with me here) Then she doesn't feel so bad. So I wanted to list a few of my favorite things here on my blog.
My wife. -- OK she is not a thing. But whenever I think of my blessings She is the first to pop into my mind every time.
My kids. -- They pop up too anytime I think of my wife. Honestly it is hard to separate the two and rarely would I ever want to.
The Gospel -- This is what makes the love I have for my wife and kids relevant in almost any context. They are a part of me and I am a part of them and the Gospel of Salvation enables that.
My Job -- I am more than glad to be able to pay my bills and meet my responsibilities. It is often hard to see what it is that I am actually doing with my life unless I see the benefits of what I do for my job... which leads me to...
Family History -- I have learned so much about my family and the families of others that I understand more and more about who I am and why I am the way I am. So many personalities went into making me I am always curious about where it all comes from. Then I read about them! and I wonder where they got it.
Friends -- I have many friends that is to say those who do not actively try to destroy me. Then I have closer friends who make an effort to make me, my family, and my life a good one. Then I have those precious few who I can open up to and they do their best to try to help me sort through it all and find a clear answer. They are to me like family.
Work -- Yes I am grateful for work. This is beyond a job, as I have already covered that. Work is the stuff that allows me to act upon my surroundings and create my world the way I want it. However without hard and strenuous work, it will all eventually slide down that slippery slope of entropy till it becomes ... well... like my daughters bedroom -- a disaster!
Hope -- Now this is not really a thing either. However it is the drive to keep going despite all of the struggles, the setbacks, and the failures. Speaking of which...
My Failures -- Yes I am grateful for them too. However failures are not bad. Failures are the charred remains of honest attempts of someone trying to do something. Doing nothing and letting the world happen around you because of the fear of failure. That is bad.
Spell checkers. just sayin'.
My car -- It would be a very long walk to work without it.
My bed -- I sleep much easier on the bed than under it. (Ask me later)
My home -- I have been very nearly without one a number of times. Having walls in which to retreat out of the cold is a good thing.
Food -- Me likes to eat.
Humor -- I need it. It is like blood to me.
Root Beer -- Check that. ROOT BEER is like blood to me.
Idle thought time -- I need a few minutes a few times a day to let my brain get out and wander around a bit. I can get really creative with stories, and imaginations when it gets a chance to breathe.
Music -- Music is the perfume for the ears. I feel music all the time and when I listen to it I can feel it course through me. Energizing and uplifting as well as calming and soothing. Music is powerful and unlike math, it can go beyond numbers. Unlike language, it can speak lifetimes without words.
Scriptures -- I find more guidance in the scriptures than almost anywhere else. It is never about what I am reading. It is the mechanism whereby my mind can tune to the voice of the Spirit who can tell me directly what I need to know. It is much like music that way for the language of the Spirit transcends finite language and limited words. It can place meaning to a feeling and direction to a prompting.
History -- I am an avid student of history. I dwell on my own history and many of my memories include many of you. Sometimes, you will just pop into my head and I daydream about our history and I wonder what you are doing now, what kind of person you have become. Many I still seek and many I may never see again in this life. I am what I am because of all of you.

I have many other things which I am grateful for. I could go on all year. But what I am grateful for holds little importance. It is that I am grateful that is important. What are you grateful for?

What is with the weather in Utah?

Now most of you know I have lived in areas with vastly different climates. Here in Utah it is blazing hot in summer, cold and snowy in Winter and sometimes mixed up in between. I have also lived in Russia where a high without windchill could be in the negatives for days on end and it is perfectly normal. Then there is Oregon where winter plays out like a particularly dreary "Twilight" scene with cold and rizzly rain, cloudy all the time and then the good part is when freezing rain hits and all of the Californian Expatriates drive around like there on an oil slick. Very amusing to watch.
Now I got up this morning to a sleet like drool plastering the ground which is what it stayed like till I turned the corner above La Caille and it changed almost instantly to snow. Now it has been snowing steadily since but form what I have heard around the valley, it hasn't made up its mind yet whether to rain, snow or just glower at us.

I guess I should just be happy that the snow hasn't drifted to the fourth story of downtown buildings, right Russia?

Goodbye 2010 -- Hello 2011

2010 has been a rough year for a lot of people I know. It has been a rough year for us. However despite how rough it is, I learned a lot. Best summed up in a phrase by Heber J. Grant. "It is the pursuit of easy things that makes men weak" This man presided over the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints during the end of World War One -- Through the Roaring 20's - through the Great Depression - and through most of World War II. Considering that resume, I think the statement is accurate.
I would talk about some of the struggles we have faced this year or even what I may have learned from them, but that would indicate an intent that everyone else needs to learn the same lessons. Those lessons are mine and apply to me and my family because of our unique situation. Instead I want to talk about trials and learning in general.
It has also been said that the blessings, trials, miracles, and sorrows we experience in life are customized each for us to give us each the best possible shot at Exaltation. The extension on this thought is that the blessings, trials, etc. of others, if given to us, may make it harder to get to exaltation, not easier. Yes that assertion includes blessings. Also what may be a blessing for one may be a curse, or trial for another. We see the lives of others from the "looking-glass" of our own lives and our own experiences and so our perspective may be different from others. The film "Eye of the beholder" is a good example. Different people look at the same man all within minutes of each other and all describe him differently. He also reacts to them differently as they are each different to him. It is our differences that make each one of us special and our experiences that give us insight tot he human experience that is unique to us alone. The great part of it all is the conclusions we draw most benefit ourselves and not others.
As we are each unique and special in our own way, often our attempts to "be like someone else" are met with frustration. We can't seem to figure out why that one plan, that one, system, that one bit of advice works for some but not others. Good advice when grounded in good fundamental principles is often always good advice. Execution of the advice we are given, though always varies and by association, the results vary just as much. It is getting to the fundamentals that the advice was based upon and the principles they teach that we should form a plan around and execute it loyally to those fundamentals. The best fundamentals to base them on is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Many different religions have elements of the Golden Rule in them, but execution of the principles or laws derived from the golden rule widely vary. I have found that the temperate laws of the Gospel of Jesus Christ are the most in harmony with my own beliefs and experiences. The Beatitudes in particular are a good example. The benefits inscribed is that of inclusiveness without respect to the differences. Humility, meekness, charity are all examples of this. Charity, in particular has been debased by many of the prideful poor as an undesirable trait but I think they misunderstand. Charity is the expression of love unbound of one human to another and most particularly where love is least likely to exist. Christ could have ended the lives of all of his enemies with a single thought but he came to this earth to save them and fully atone for them. If he ended their lives, wherein lay their chance for repentance? Saul of Tarsus repented and later became one of the strongest fighters for the cause. Charity is not limited to handouts any more than Christmas is only about Santa Claus. Charity is love, unconditional and humble love, expecting nothing in return, asking for nothing in advance. It is service, kindness, nurturing, and joy gifted to one in hopes of making the recipients life better. Often what is given is everything the giver has, even their own life as the example of the Savior shows.
Learning the true virtues of godly living, living as He would have us live would be a far better resolution than anything I could come up with and far more reaching. The great part is that it does not shatter with momentary setbacks as He whom is our Exemplar is forgiving to those who are honestly trying and we gain bit by bit those virtues He desires for us. This, when compared with a feeble and narrow weight loss goal, or a goal to achieve a specific goal or task that can be easily lost with one tiny slip, seems much more enduring. Besides shouldn't our resolutions be to make every part of our life better.
I don't know what 2011 will bring. I don't even know all of the challenges I will face. However, I do know that as time goes on, if I will honestly strive to live by the virtues that have been taught me, honestly try to be a better person, and learn of Him, I will face all of my challenges, problems, bad habits, and difficulties and gain the power I need to conquer them. To flip President Grant's statement upside down, which also paraphrases Ether 12:27 It is the pursuit of hard things that make men strong.

Forever Strong

I saw the movie "Forever Strong" rater late in its popularity. It was only a few months ago but ever since then I have dwelled on the lessons it teaches. I bought a copy not long after seeing it and we watched it together as a family for Family Home Evening. I think the message was mostly lost on the kids who wasn't interested in anything that wasn't animated. Samuel picked up a few things but it didn't last long. I didn't expect it to, but I am hoping to see some of those lessons to sink in over time.
I watched it again twice yesterday and though I wouldn't say I learned any new principles, I did gain an ewer resolve to do better in my own life. There are a lot of things I just mess with and don't really focus on to see it through and stick with it. I have so many little things and several big things I need to do and I am never really sure how I am going to execute things. Unfortunately I tend to manage my life by crisis and my energy is focused on the things (or person) that is screaming the loudest. I think that is partially due to being behind on so many things and having so many messes to clean up. I work hard and long to get them cleaned up and after I make some real progress, I fail to put in the effort to keep them in good shape. I am tired and think I deserve a bit of a break. Things begin to retrogress and they end up in the same terrible shape as before. it is a vicious cycle that needs to break but I haven't gotten the grit and resolve to keep working to maintain things in good shape.
I think a few things that might help are to do a few little one-time things. Get some small victories to keep my motivation going. I then need to get a few things scheduled and work hard to keep those 'appointments' like exercising. if I can keep them I should do well. lastly, I need to control how much I eat. I have done pretty good over the past few days until yesterday when I ate a lot of junk during the BYU-SDSU game.
One more thing. I need to keep my commitments to Elizabeth about what I have volunteered to take care of around the house. One of those things is the laundry. I would wash it if she would fold it and put it away. I have done lousy.
I have a lot to do but I think I can do it if I knuckle down, get to it and stick with it.

Change I Can Believe In -- Part 2

Leadership is a tricky business, especially when you are not formally a leader. I have nightmares and daytime fears of trying to encourage people to go a certain direction and having them reply in a rebellious tone. "No, you're not my boss!" I want to demonstrate good behavior which I am fairly good at, but I also want to encourage others to follow good behavior, most particularly when they are not behaving good. I also see different approaches with it. I would not expect similar results between my co-workers and my kids if encouraged in a like manner. My oldest is eight and the pandemonium reigns anytime much leeway is given with regards to them doing their tasks. Likewise, directly enforcing them to complete homework, chores etc. by babysitting them as they do it has been one of the only successful ways to get it done. The most successful way has been to do our tasks together as a family. We would all get together and start at one end of the house and work, everyone doing everything, till the whole house is done. We did this very well and even had it down to where we could clean the whole house, top to bottom in a little more than an hour. I was impressed. However, my schedule does not always allow me to participate, nor do others so it has been really tough keeping it going.
The best option is common to everyone, my kids and coworkers and that is the Oz Principle. It is the subject of several books and it has roots in the gospel. It has a couple of different facets to it and I want to describe them here. First, the concept that in the context of your organization, all the work is everyone's work. Some may have specific assignments that naturally lead them to do specific tasks. In fact most people are hired for those reasons. However, There is nothing that says a billionaire CEO who has time on his hands can't clean his own executive washroom and take out the trash when the custodian is running behind or on vacation. The idea is that if we all pitch in and work as one cohesive unit, with all of us believing that we all working together, can accomplish anything, we succeed.
The first phrase which leads to this is See it, Own it, Solve it, Do it. This works on an individual level as well as the group. It also doesn't work on an individual level as well as a cohesive group. Allow me to explain.
Seeing it is merely the recognizing of the task or tasks at hand. A person or group must be aware of their work and the scope of it. They need to know what it entails and properly prepare and train for it.
Own it is the principle that the individuals in the group each take individual responsibility for the task. I like to describe it as making the task personal. It is no longer distanced by it being a "work' task. Succeeding at this task involves your whole soul and character. You approach it and work at it as you would a final exam in school or a sculptor does a project. That work will be a reflection of you, your work, your commitment and your contribution to the good of the whole. The collective persona of the group must also have just as much of an ownership response to the task and must acknowledge that the "we" factor on the task is vital. If only part of the group is bought in to the plan but the others are looking for the balance of the group to carry them through, they hold back and the result is not as good. It then reflects less successfully and falls from amazing to ordinary.
Solve it is the principal of the plan. It is what takes the energy of the group through to conquering the problem. It is the spiritual creation or execution of the task. This is wholly necessary as just plowing into a task without a plan is like a tornado. Everyone is going based on their own perception. Solve it. turns everyone to go the same direction so that all efforts have efficacy and actually lead to the success. Without it many people, well intentioned actually end up working in conflict, nullifying much of their efforts and frustrating them.
Do it. This is the principle of executing the task for real and is a culmination of the other three. This is where flaws in the plan may manifest themselves and scream for resolution. Commitment to success is vital here because problems will occur and should not derail the plan. If the people are good, committed and the plan is good, then the outcome should be good. This is the principle of stick with it so long as it remains good, making adjustments here and there.

The whole must be bought in to it. For and individual to only be partially bought in, their success or failure is a result of that commitment. Going in half hearted will result in half-baked. Any definite success will be the result of pure luck or disproportionate and unfair intervention by another. The group must be likewise or the same thing will happen.

I must be fully committed to what I do or I won't succeed. The ashes of failed attempts at things in my life lie all around me and I am certain that it has been because I was not fully committed to See it, Own it, Solve it and Do it.

The other aspect I will cover next time. This is called the results pyramid and is largely how different events of the above relate to each other. Experiences lead to beliefs which govern our actions which generate results. Part 3 to come.

Change I Can Believe In -- Part 1

On the face the title of this post might sound like a Barack Obama catch-phrase but it is in fact something entirely different. I do not like to dabble in the quotations of others, nor criticize the merits of the catch-phrases of the day. I like learning the meanings of new things but not to sound eloquent of speech. I like learning new things and using them because I like new things.
The change I want to talk about here is not a new thing. It is as older then the world itself and is epitomized in the fundamentals of existence. Hence, it is a change I can believe in because it is not just a change that throws a superficial coat of paint on the same old ugly face. It is a change exhibited in the actions of a chisel on that ugly face to make a real lasting change, one that is not easily reversed and one that, if applied correctly and with skill, makes what is ugly, beautiful.
I have long idolized the words of men like Stephen Covey and David A. Bednar, two of my heroes in the field of self improvement but I must say I have done very poorly at applying their advice in my own life. I hear what they have to say, and then look around at others and seem to say, "Did you hear that? See, now you know you need to do better." It is the same as someone who preaches to their fellow quorum members that they need to do better at their home teaching, but have a lackluster record at that themselves. I am one of those and I have long passed it off as being something I am not focused on right now. I find reasons to pass it off and think that I would not have made a difference anyway. I also do this at work where I work hard and follow all of the rules but then get frustrated at why others aren't and then reason that because I perceive myself as performing so much better than the others that I would be the obvious choice when a search for a new Team Leader or Supervisor is sought out. Being the least of the sinners is not what Heavenly Father Looks for in his leaders. I have had this as my focus for a long time.
A related problem is that what improvements I do make have been as a result of a reaction to something and in response to the words, actions, or thoughts of others and not solely because it is the right thing to do.This problem is further exacerbated when those good actions done with the wrong motivation in mind is not seen by others and I find myself bitter that I have been ignored again. This has also been me for a long time and I have met the results as outlined.
The change that is needed is a simple one, and as I have already said, it is not a new one. many who read it will say one of several things like, "Well, I know that!" or even "I already do that!" Some do, many don't. I am not here to point fingers at who does or doesn't. I am here to describe what I believe it is and how I want to make the change in myself.
To preface the change, I need to explain that there are two different realms of change at work here. The outward kind that I described before as superficial, and an inward change that has real meaning and has lasting effects on our lives. The outward change is the visible part. It is when we start doing good things simply because we have come to know that old behaviors were not right and that new behaviors need to be adopted. The change outwardly is a good one but they are done with the wrong motive in mind. They are done because someone else indicated they need to be changed and not because we truly believed a change needed to be made for our own sakes. The sakes of others is a secondary result and is a good side effect, but should not be the focus.
The change I am talking about is that I am going to make a change of something in me so that I can be a better person for myself, my family, my friends and my God. I become more valuable to them by making this change and I am a better, more fulfilled person for it. In this change statement there is nothing about changing another person for our own benefit or even changing their perceptions. By focusing on changing ourselves simply to be a better person relative to our older selves and not relative to someone else, we centralize the focus in an isolated manner on ourselves. The changes in ourselves are noticed by others and they have an effect, usually a good one. But our motive should not be one that we do it to be noticed either. In this way we might even consider the motive selfish, but it is in a way that is better for our own good and not better for the good of others. The latter implies that if we did not make the change, others would suffer for it and so betterment of the whole depends solely on our becoming better.
Let me illustrate this with an example often used. Exercise. Those of you who know me know I am a big guy. My weight fluctuated between 330 and 350 pounds on a regular basis, a weight range which I have occupied for a long time. I recently purchase with the generous gift of others and some of my own resources a treadmill as it had previously been identified as my instrument of choice in exercise. A good motivation but it died fairly quickly. I had many other things to do and those other things took priority and were easier to start and do. They did not involve nearly as much sweating and did not involve any sacrifice in one of my favorite pastimes -- eating. I love food.
If I exercise solely with the motive of making myself healthier (better) I would feel physically better, I would sleep better, I could work better, faster, and improve in so many different facets of my life. I could be a better father to my children and a better husband to my wife. See how none of these effects or results are directed to changing others to make them better? The focus is on me and me working on making me better for my own sake. The others are all secondary and are wonderful to behold.

---More later.

The Oncoming Winter

I have thoroughly enjoyed the past summer in may ways. I got to grow my first successful garden. I have had two main attempts in the past, one of which I abandoned when I moved to Utah from Oregon, the other of which was a more lazy, half-hearted attempt that resulted solely in tomatoes with blossom-end rot. This year, however, I turned my backayrd upside down and grew what is likely to be a record yield of tomatoes per plant in my memory of gardens, even those growing up. I also planted one pepper which spent most of its existence under the canopy of the broad leaves of the nearby pumpkin plant which grew like the monster pumpkin plant from Oblivion. It took over half of the backyard and I now have about fifteen full sized pumpkins, six of which are harvested and the remainder are not far behind. I got my front yard looking very good and I fully intend to take it up a notch next year.
Winter, however is a different story. I have so much I want to do inside this box I call a house. It has so much that needs to be done. The things that are most obvious are also the ones that cost money. So a list has started but I need to focus more on the day to day, starting with myself. Well see how that goes.

My Summer so Far

My summer has been a lot of work so far. A lot of unnecessary work. However a few unexpected benefits grew out of them.
First problem was a tiny drip from a sprinkler valve added up overnight to flood Samuel's room in the basement, most of my office and part of the hall and Elizabeth's office. After cleaning up and moving most of the stuff ourselves, we had Utah Disaster Kleenup come and help us finish and with their equipment got everything dried out. We then cashed out on the repairs and I was able to replace the pad for the carpets myself.
We then discussed what to do with the rest. After looking at several options we decided we could replace the carpet in my office instead of laying new pad. We found a good style of vinyl tile and I commenced laying it. After two days and one of them being about fifteen hours on a Saturday, we got it all laid. Knowing the office wasn't perfectly square, I laid it on an angle that though it was not perfectly 45 degrees, was sufficient to look very good.
We also determined that we had enough to lay laminate flooring in our living room and hall upstairs. However, not having enough room to store the furniture out of the rooms we had to move it all to one side and replace a section at a time, three sections at a time. As of this writing, I have complete the first two sections and cleared most of the floor and the hall for the third section. There is still much to do and as soon as it is finished, I don't plan on doing any more projects till it is done. When it is done, I have a lot of maintenance things to get caught up on.
I haven't done anything on the floor for a couple of days but need to finish. The hallway is not so daunting as it would seem but it is a lot of work for such small floor space. It just won't seem like I am getting very far very fast till it gets done.

Fathers

I know a lot of people. At least I know more than what I thought I knew. Many of those people I am familiar with their fathers or I am aware of the relationships they had or didn't have with their fathers. Some are shining examples of what fathers should be. Others fall into the "less effective" categories of fathers. I consider myself somewhere in the middle.
In doing family history, I have also come across many examples along the same spectrum of fathers that all had histories that either commend them or condemn them. However, the overwhelming pattern that rose to the surface is the attitudes, commitments, and general well-being of the father was reflected in the family. Strong, protective, supportive father, begat a strong family. This is not to say the mother had no effect, but what I have seen is that the mothers influence seemed to be more individualistic. As their relationships grew close with their mothers, they were more secure, confident individuals. As many children related with their fathers in more of the "group" family sphere, there effects were more obviously seen in the group.
I would share some examples in my own life either as a father or as a son but I feel it would not reflect accurately on the picture as a whole. I will say this, the saying,"Like father, like son," has endured over time for a reason. Much of a daughters character is seen in her father and rarely do they become exact copies of their mothers in miniature. I look at my daughters in this light and they all tend to exude the same cornballish, humorous personality that their father has than the more passive -- mature personality of their mother. This is especially evident in my second daughter Bethany who has not only a tender heart (from her mother) but a wry sense of humor that quite often gets her into more trouble and more laughs than the others.
I wonder how life would be different if I had a different father. I wonder if my own personality would be different. I even wonder how life would have been different if I had no father. Heaven knows that had been a possibility a number of times with the various industrial accidents that have been near fatal in my fathers life. Heavy industry s aptly named and when it involves steel which standard measures is in tons, it is no surprise people die while working there.
As for myself, I am quite certain that if I suddenly checked out, either by accident, heart attack, or otherwise, my kids would be affected for life. My wife might easily go insane, and my family's whole world would be shaken, even at its very foundations. I don't plan on going anywhere but life doesn't always go as planned. Sometimes, God has very different ideas for our future than we do. I am assured that His plans, are calculated to give us the best chance at returning to Him, and our Heavenly Mother, with everyone who will, living and the dead. After all isn't every father's greatest hope that their children will return to them someday as equals in their sight, knowing what they know , doing as they do, and becoming what they themselves are?

Church History Library

I attended the Church History Library dedication today with my Dad. We arrived an hour before it started and proceeded to sit on some moderately hard chairs, just watching everybody. The dedication addresses were good but they did seem to be about what was expected. I did enjoy President Thomas S. Monson's talk greatly though. After President Hinckley, it has been hard for a new person at the helm to grow on me, but he is. He is growing on me.
I have been fascinated with the Church history Library as a whole and have for a while, coveted the idea working there. I could say that my relationship with Heidie Davis whom, I had in the past butted heads with has been successfully repaired largely due to her own efforts. In a way, I miss her at the vault but I don't believe she misses it. If she ever returned, I don't know she would be happy. Pauline and I have enjoyed each other and I think she is someone I could really work for and enjoy. I know little about conservation and so I am uncertain I could get far with Chris McAfee. I really think I could be happy there.
I would love to peruse the Church History Library and plan on making use of it. I would love so much to spend more time there but my distance out at the vault makes that hard. I want to grow in the church corporate sphere but I am uncertain where that would get me. Maybe someday i will be fortunate enough to serve in a different capacity that pays better. We'll see.